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 Post subject: OT: Maiden-world pub
PostPosted: April 27th, 2006, 9:03 am 
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da ne kopiram čmarovsku pivnicu .. :suck:
Budući da svakodnevno dobivam ovakve mailove i slično, mislila sam si: zašto bi se sam ja smijala? :evil:
Pa da ih podijelim sa vama ...
šaljite i vi svoje smiješne "anegdote", bilo da su baš vaše ili da ste ih negdje čuli, dobili ... whatever ;)
uživajte (mada sumnjam da u ovoj hoćete, :shock: ali ja sam se razvalila ;) ROFLMAO) :suck: :suck:

Here goes ... :D

Be prepared to explain to those nearby why you are laughing so hard...
Cat Lover's or Not, This Is Hysterical...

We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:

Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating.
I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I
would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could
think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.

The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.

Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.

Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"

But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then,"C'mon, it'll only take you a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.

It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.

She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.

When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done- that" paramedics.

Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter... and not succeeding.

Somehow I lived through it all.

A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.

"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"

If they only knew!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: April 27th, 2006, 9:18 am 
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Wheatus - Teenage dirtbag baby
poslušajte lyricse, tko se spominje :suck:

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PostPosted: April 27th, 2006, 11:09 am 
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Tlaka mi je sada sve citat. Malo poslije. :)


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PostPosted: April 27th, 2006, 12:20 pm 
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neda se ni meni, daj nemoj tolke postove slat covjece...


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PostPosted: April 27th, 2006, 2:17 pm 
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Joined: March 24th, 2006, 3:54 pm
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prelijen sam LOL

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PostPosted: April 28th, 2006, 10:50 am 
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BoBo wrote:
Tlaka mi je sada sve citat. Malo poslije. :)

Rainmaker_RI wrote:
neda se ni meni, daj nemoj tolke postove slat covjece...


slažem se (sorry)

ali pročitat ću jednom, uskoro

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PostPosted: April 28th, 2006, 11:19 am 
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Uhhh! Bolje je da ne citate. Osjecaj je u najmanju ruku nezgodan za vecinu ovdje. :cry: :D


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PostPosted: April 28th, 2006, 11:35 am 
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Ajmo svi, sto smo naucili iz ove price? Nikad ne obavljaj vodoinstalaterski posao gol ako imas u kuci malu macku :D

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PostPosted: April 28th, 2006, 2:48 pm 
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a jebi ga vidio sam i cuo puno gore i u najmanju ruku nezgodnije stvari od ove price gore

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Humans are the tiger's only serious predator, who often kill tigers illegally for their fur.


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PostPosted: April 28th, 2006, 7:25 pm 
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MaidenMadness wrote:
a jebi ga vidio sam i cuo puno gore i u najmanju ruku nezgodnije stvari od ove price gore


Ali nisam bio pripremljen pa me jace zabolilo. :)


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PostPosted: April 28th, 2006, 7:39 pm 
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hehe ... LOL kad sam to pročitala, bilo mi je drago da nisam muško ;)
e ono, sorry znam da je dug post, ali morala sam stavit ... ;)
stavite vi nešto kraće ;)
:D

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PostPosted: April 28th, 2006, 9:36 pm 
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ae nek neko skraceno napise o cemu se radi u tekstu jer mi se stvarno neda citat. pliz.


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PostPosted: April 29th, 2006, 12:01 am 
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Tip je isao popravljati garbage disposal gol iz tusa jer ga je zena tlacila, pa je cucnuo ispod sudopera, a u kuci je imao malu macku kojoj se svidio onaj objekt koji je visio njemu izmedju nogu, pa se odlucila zgrabiti ga. On se naglo ustao i lupio glavurdom u neki ormar.

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Religion is an insult to human dignity. With or without it you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. - Steven Weinberg, physics Nobel prize winner


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PostPosted: April 29th, 2006, 8:00 am 
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LOL LOL LOL To je slicno ko ona pornjava kad mu tipica pusi, a tip pece palacinke, i onda baci palacinku u zrak da je okrene, al palacinka se zaljepi za strop. Nakon nekog vremena palacinka padne sa stropa zeni na glavu, a ona ga ugrize za surlu.


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PostPosted: April 29th, 2006, 12:39 pm 
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Rainmaker_RI wrote:
LOL LOL LOL To je slicno ko ona pornjava kad mu tipica pusi, a tip pece palacinke, i onda baci palacinku u zrak da je okrene, al palacinka se zaljepi za strop. Nakon nekog vremena palacinka padne sa stropa zeni na glavu, a ona ga ugrize za surlu.
:shock:
damn kakvu ti to pornjavu gledas?

e samo da se mogu sjetiti onog linka sa uputama u slikovnom formatu kako napraviti vazektomiju
damn
daleko najbolnija stvar koju sam vidio
nedam ja nikome da mi kopa nozem po kiti
btw tipica? :? kakav ti je to izraz za trebu?

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