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rockin_plumber
Senior Member
Joined: 18 Nov 2003
Posts: 35349
Location: Wiltshire, England ..................... .....Justice 4 The 96..... ..........Y.N.W.A............
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 Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:02 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
Cyrus wrote
But that isn't true. I still drink milk...pints of it! I never fart. It must have been caused my something else 
MMMMMMM
Suddenly its changed now you are labelled with the title 
Last edited by rockin_plumber on Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:07 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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Cyrus
Senior Member
Joined: 15 Oct 2003
Posts: 10538
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:06 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
rockin_plumber wrote
MMMMMMM
Suddenly its changed now you a labelled with the title
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wicky
Senior Member
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 33821
Location: Devon, England
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:37 pm Post subject: |
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I've found a good one about "Shit" shall I post it  |
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MaidenMadness
Contributor
Joined: 08 Oct 2003
Posts: 19324
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
wicker nomad wrote
I've found a good one about "Shit" shall I post it
but of course you shall i take full responsibiliteis for any consequances of your post |
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Cyrus
Senior Member
Joined: 15 Oct 2003
Posts: 10538
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
wicker nomad wrote
I've found a good one about "Shit" shall I post it
Yeah  |
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wicky
Senior Member
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 33821
Location: Devon, England
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:41 pm Post subject: |
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Sometimes when shit happens, you want to be able to articulate the experience more than just you've, taken a shit. Here are some shit definitions to help you explain the situation better to your friends and family...
Ghost Shit
You know you've shit. There's shit on the toilet paper, but no shit in the bowl.
Teflon Coated Shit
Comes out so slick, clean and easy that you don't feel it. No traces of shit on the toilet paper, you have to look in the bowl to be sure you did it!
Gooey Shit
This has the consistency of hot tar. You wipe your ass 12 times and it still doesn't come clean. You end up putting toilet paper in your underwear so you don't stain it. This shit leaves permanent skid marks in the toilet.
Second Thought Shit
You're all done wiping your ass and you're about to stand up when you realize it.....you've got some more.
Pop a Vein in Your Forehead Shit
This kind is the kind of shit that killed Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from straining so hard.
Bali Belly Shit
You shit so much you lose 5 kilos.
Right Now Shit
You better be within 10 seconds of a toilet. Usually it has its head out before you get your pants down.
King Kong or Commode Choker Shit
This shit is so big that you know it won't go down the toilet unless you break it into smaller chunks. A coat hanger works well. This kind of shit usually happens at someone else's house.
Wet Cheeks Shit
This shit hits the water sideways and makes a BIG splash that gets your ass wet.
Wish Shit
You sit there all cramped up and fart a few times, but no shit!
Cement Block or Oh God Shit
You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you shit.
Snake Shit
This shit is fairly soft and about as big around as your thumb and at least three feet long.
Cork Shit (Also Known as Floater Shit)
Even after the third flush, it's still floating in there. My god! How do I get rid of it? This shit usually happens at someone else's house.
Mexican Food Shit (also called Screamers)
You'll know it's alright to eat again when your asshole stops burning.
Beer Drunk Shit
This happens the day after the night before. Normally your shit doesn't smell too bad, but this shit is BAD. Usually there's somebody standing outside to use the bathroom. This kind of shit also usually happens at someone else's house.
The Frightened Turtle
The kind of shit that just pokes its head out then quickly goes back in
The Bungee Shit
The kind of shit that just hangs off your ass before it falls into the water.
The Ring of Fire Shit
The kind of shit where you eat really spicy food and your asshole feels like the inside of a cigarette lighter.
The Crippler
The kind of shit where you have to sit on the toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.
The Big Bobber
The kind of shit that no matter how many times you flush it always floats back to the surface.
The Shitty Shitty Bang Bang
The kind of shit that hits you when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.
The Incredible Hulk Shit
The king of shit that sits in the toilet overnight and mysteriously expands to twice it's normal size.
The Jack the Ripper Shit
The kind of shit that yanks out the hair of your ass as it pushes its way out.
The Party Pooper
The giant shit you take at a party. And when you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts to rise.
The Toxic Gas Shit
The kind of shit that makes you pass out and fall of the toilet before you finish, and then you wake up in some strange South American town.
Dirty Bowl Shit
The kind of shit that comes out in a million pieces a second, reminiscent of an avalanche - but with rocket propulsion, and splatters all over the toilet bowl.
The Windy City Shit
When you sit down, and fart for so long and hard that you no longer need to take a shit.
Oh Shit! Shit
You shit so much and wipe your ass so furiously you run out of toilet paper and you say OH SHIT!
The Never Ending Shit
It's the shit that keeps running out of your ass like pea, and just when you start wiping your ass your stomach gargles and splash, more shit runs out. This always happens after eating at Kentucky Fried Chicken.
Ouch That Hurt Shit
The type of shit that leaves you feeling like you just hoped onto a bicycle without a seat. Sensation usually lasts hours. |
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Cyrus
Senior Member
Joined: 15 Oct 2003
Posts: 10538
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 7:57 pm Post subject: |
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That was one of the funniest things I've read! I was laughing out loud!!!!  |
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wicky
Senior Member
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 33821
Location: Devon, England
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 8:00 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
Cyrus wrote
That was one of the funniest things I've read! I was laughing out loud!!!!
So was I ...I had tears in my eyes from laughing so much  ....the kids thought i'd finally lost the plot!! |
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rockin_plumber
Senior Member
Joined: 18 Nov 2003
Posts: 35349
Location: Wiltshire, England ..................... .....Justice 4 The 96..... ..........Y.N.W.A............
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 8:01 pm Post subject: |
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| Seen it b4 but still funny |
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Cyrus
Senior Member
Joined: 15 Oct 2003
Posts: 10538
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 8:07 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
wicker nomad wrote
So was I ...I had tears in my eyes from laughing so much ....the kids thought i'd finally lost the plot!!
Do you know why we laugh so much from it?
We recognise ourselfs...  |
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wicky
Senior Member
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 33821
Location: Devon, England
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 8:10 pm Post subject: |
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I've just tried to read it aloud to my hubby and eldest....its impossible!!!...i'm crying again |
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Cyrus
Senior Member
Joined: 15 Oct 2003
Posts: 10538
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 8:14 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
wicker nomad wrote
I've just tried to read it aloud to my hubby and eldest....its impossible!!!...i'm crying again
Did they find it funny as well? |
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wicky
Senior Member
Joined: 09 Nov 2003
Posts: 33821
Location: Devon, England
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 8:17 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
Cyrus wrote
Did they find it funny as well?
Yes ..That made it even harder to read aloud...the more they laughed the more I did |
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Cyrus
Senior Member
Joined: 15 Oct 2003
Posts: 10538
Location: Norway
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 8:34 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
wicker nomad wrote
Yes ..That made it even harder to read aloud...the more they laughed the more I did
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SexyDevilGirl
Senior Member
Joined: 21 Dec 2003
Posts: 5691
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| Posted: Sat Mar 13, 2004 8:55 pm Post subject: |
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Holy SHIT-that was funny
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