Maiden World Forum

rockin_plumber · Sat Oct 04, 2008 6:33 pm

My mother's a gullible old dear, so when she asked me what I wanted for
my birthday, I wrote out a list.

She spent hours at the shopping centre trying to find an air guitar, and a
fanny magnet.

But she wasn't fooled at all by my request for the book; "French Military
Victories."

Very Happy

rockin_plumber · Sun Oct 12, 2008 7:20 pm

For years, men and women have argued over which is more painful: Being
kicked in the bollocks, or giving birth.

So how can we reach an answer? Well put it this way. About a year after a
couple's first child, a woman will say "lets have another baby"

But I challenge you to find a man, who one year on, will turn to his mate
and say "tell you what, Dave...kick me in the bollocks again"

rockin_plumber · Tue Oct 14, 2008 4:49 pm

Christopher comes home from work early one day.

He walks in to the kitchen and sees his wife on her knees, scrubbing the
floor. He watches the rhythmic movements of her bum stuck high in the
air for a few seconds, before he can't take it any more.

Without a word, he lifts up her skirt, slides in and gives her the pounding
of her life until they both orgasm loudly. Then he zips himself up, gets to
his feet and kicks her up the arse as hard as he can.

"What the fuck was that for?!" she screams at him.

"That was for not turning round to see who it was." he replies.

rockin_plumber · Thu Oct 23, 2008 7:41 pm

The Pope was invited to Liverpool for the opening of a new cathedral. He
waited for his Limo to come and pick him up, and waited, and waited, and
waited. After about 20 minutes the driver finally turns up so the Pope gets
in the back of the Limo. The driver was doing about 40mph and the Pope
is in the back of the Limo shouting all kinds of Italian profanities at him,
telling him to speed up.

Eventually the Pope has had enough and tells the driver to pull over, the
Pope gets out of the Limo and pulls the driver out of the driver's seat. The
driver gets in the back and the Pope drives, and he puts his foot down.
He's going down the M6 doing about 120mph when they speed past a
Police car doing speed checks.

The scouse copper turns to the other and says, "Ere Terry, we'll have this
cunt" and they speed off after the Limo with the lights and sirens blaring.

Eventually the Pope pulls over and the copper walks up the window.
Suddenly he turns white as a sheet and quickly turns back to the police
car, his colleague seeing that something is up asks him,

"Whats the matter Terry?" To which he replied,

"I nearly pulled over the most important person in the world!" The other
copper asks, "Who?"

Terry replied,

"I don't know, but the fucking Pope was driving him!" Very Happy

wicky · Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:51 am

> Bob, a handsome dude, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 PM.
> He sat down next to a blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV.
> The 10:00 PM news was coming on. The news crew was covering a story of
> a man on a ledge of a large Building preparing to jump.
>
> The blonde looked at Bob and said, 'Do you think he'll jump?'
> Bob says, 'You know, I bet he'll jump.'
> The blonde replied, 'Well, I bet he won't.'
> Bob placed a $20 bill on the bar and said, 'You're on!'
> Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy on the ledge
> did a swan dive off the building, falling to his death.
> The blonde was very upset, but willingly handed her $20 to Bob,
> saying, 'Fair's fair. Here's your money.'
>
> Bob replied, 'I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 PM
> news and so I knew he would jump.'
>
> The blonde replied, 'I did too; but I didn't think he'd do it again.'
>
> Bob took the money.

rockin_plumber · Mon Oct 27, 2008 7:36 pm

Over 5000 men were surveyed asking why they liked blowjobs.....
1% liked the warmth.....
2% liked the sensation.....
3% liked the erotocism.....
and 94% liked the peace and quiet Very Happy

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