Maiden World Forum

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wicker nomad wrote
Please don't under-estimated a mind of a woman!

>A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each
>other the silent treatment. Suddenly the man realized that the next day he
>would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business
>flight. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he
>wrote on a piece of paper,
>
>"Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
>He left it where he knew she would find it.
>
>The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he
>had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife
>hadn't waked him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed. The paper
>said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
>
>Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests

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Revenge is mine...

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rockin_plumber wrote
I felt this needed to go in the

HAHA THIS IS HILAIRIOUS THREAD

Man-Ure go out of the champions league

Not that it is the champions league really, not like when Liverpool
won their 4 European cups it was just champions then.

Its really the champions and whoever else UEFA let play in it league

But anyway

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THAT IS NOT FUNNY

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wicker nomad wrote
The language of woman: Womanese...



Here's a guide for the men:

1. "Fine" - This is the word women use at the end of any argument
when they feel they are right but can't stand to hear you argue any
longer. It means that you should shut up. (NEVER use "fine" to
describe how she looks. This will cause you to have one of those
arguments.)

2 . "Five minutes" - This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the
five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take
out the trash, so women feel that it's an even trade.

3. "Nothing" - means something and you should be on your toes.
"Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of
wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing"
usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end
with the word "Fine."

4. "Go Ahead" (with raised eyebrows) - This is NOT permission; it's a
dare! If you mistake it for permission, the result will be the woman
will get upset over "Nothing" and you'll have a "five-minute"
discussion that will end with the word "Fine."

5. "Go Ahead" (normal eyebrows) - This is NOT permission, either. It
means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care." You will
get a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by
"Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes"
when she cools off.

6. "Loud Sigh" - This is not actually a word, but is still often a
verbal statement. Very frequently misunderstood by men. A "Loud
Sigh" means she thinks you are a complete idiot and wonders why she is
wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing!."

7. "Soft Sigh" - Again, not a word, but a verbal statement. "Soft
Sighs" are one of the few things that some men actually understand.
It means she is momentarily content. Your best bet is to not move or
breathe in the hope that the moment will last a bit longer.

8 . "Oh" - This word-followed by any statement-is trouble. Example;
"Oh, let me get that". Or, "Oh, I talked to him about what you were
doing last night." If she says "Oh" before a statement, run, do not
walk, to the nearest exit. She will tell you that she is "Fine" when
she is done tossing your clothes out the window, but do not expect her
to talk to you for at least two days. ("Oh" as the lead to a sentence
usually signifies that you are caught in a lie. Do not try to lie
more to get out of it, or you will get a raised eyebrows "Go ahead,"
sometimes followed by acts so unspeakable that I can't bring myself to
write about them.

9. "That's Okay" - This is one of the most dangerous statements that
a woman can say to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think
long and hard before deciding what the penalty will be for whatever
you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and
in conjunction with a raised eyebrow "Go Ahead." Once she has had time
to plan it out, you are in for some mighty big trouble.

10. "Please Do" - This is not a statement, it is an offer. The woman
is giving you the chance to come up with an excuse for what you have
done. In other words, a chance to get yourself into even more
trouble. If you handle this correctly, you shouldn't get a "That's
Okay."

11. "Thanks" - The woman is thanking you. Don't faint and don't look
for hidden meaning. Just say "you're welcome."

12. "Thanks A Lot" - "Thanks A Lot" is dramatically different from
"Thanks." A woman will say "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked
off at you. It is usually followed by the "Loud Sigh." This signifies
that you have hurt her in some callous way. Be careful not to ask
what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you
"Nothing."

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Cyrus wrote
That was hilarious, wicker nomad

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rockin_plumber wrote
You forgot one...............

The Cyrus type person
One who farts a lot after drinking milk

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We don't need to bring that up anymore

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Cyrus wrote
We don't need to bring that up anymore

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We would never have known if someone hadn't told us

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rockin_plumber wrote
We would never have known if someone hadn't told us

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But it was supposed to be a quick laugh...not one that lasts for months!

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Cyrus wrote
But it was supposed to be a quick laugh...not one that lasts for months!

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You bought it all on urself

From now on you will be known as the man who farts after drinkin milk

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rockin_plumber wrote
You bought it all on urself

From now on you will be known as the man who farts after drinkin milk

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But that isn't true. I still drink milk...pints of it! I never fart. It must have been caused my something else