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axy
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 1967
Location: Rijeka / Labin, CROATIA
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 Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:03 am Post subject: OT: Maiden-world pub |
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da ne kopiram čmarovsku pivnicu .. 
Budući da svakodnevno dobivam ovakve mailove i slično, mislila sam si: zašto bi se sam ja smijala? 
Pa da ih podijelim sa vama ...
šaljite i vi svoje smiješne "anegdote", bilo da su baš vaše ili da ste ih negdje čuli, dobili ... whatever 
uživajte (mada sumnjam da u ovoj hoćete,  ali ja sam se razvalila ROFLMAO)
Here goes ... 
Be prepared to explain to those nearby why you are laughing so hard...
Cat Lover's or Not, This Is Hysterical...
We've all had trouble with our animals, but I don't think anyone can top this one:
Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my excuse, I always get the feeling that my boss thinks I'm lying. On one recent occasion, I had a valid reason but lied anyway, because the truth was just too darned humiliating.
I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury, and I hoped I
would feel up to coming in the next day. By then, I reasoned, I could
think up a doozy to explain the bandage on the top of my head.
The accident occurred mainly because I had given in to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially, the new acquisition was no problem.
Then one morning, I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen.
Honey! The garbage disposal is dead again. Please come reset it." "You know where the button is," I protested through the shower pitter-patter and steam. "Reset it yourself!"
But I'm scared!" she persisted. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" There was a meaningful pause and then,"C'mon, it'll only take you a second."
So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping that my silent outraged nudity would make a statement about how I perceived her behavior as extremely cowardly. Sighing loudly, I squatted down and stuck my head under sink to find the button. It is the last action I remember performing.
It struck without warning, and without any respect to my circumstances. No, it wasn't the hexed disposal, drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, who discovered the fascinating dangling objects she spied hanging between my legs.
She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I reached under the sink. And, at the precise moment when I was most vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, blindly rising at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of kitten hanging from my masculine region.
Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. I know this from experience. I was fleeing straight up into the air when the sink and cabinet bluntly and forcefully impeded my ascent. The impact knocked me out cold.
When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me. Now there are not many things in this life worse than finding oneself lying on the kitchen floor buck naked in front of a group of "been-there, done- that" paramedics.
Even worse, having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics were all snorting loudly as they tried to conduct their work, all the while trying to suppress their hysterical laughter... and not succeeding.
Somehow I lived through it all.
A few days later I finally made it back in to the office, where colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me about my head injury. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk about, which it was.
"What's the matter?" They all asked, "Cat got your tongue?"
If they only knew! |
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axy
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 1967
Location: Rijeka / Labin, CROATIA
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 9:18 am Post subject: |
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Wheatus - Teenage dirtbag baby
poslušajte lyricse, tko se spominje |
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BoBo
Staff
Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 5233
Location: Split
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 11:09 am Post subject: |
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Tlaka mi je sada sve citat. Malo poslije.  |
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Rainmaker_RI
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Jan 2004
Posts: 668
Location: Rijeka
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 12:20 pm Post subject: |
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| neda se ni meni, daj nemoj tolke postove slat covjece... |
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Screamy
Senior Member
Joined: 24 Mar 2006
Posts: 3398
Location: Zagreb,Croatia
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| Posted: Thu Apr 27, 2006 2:17 pm Post subject: |
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prelijen sam  |
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Ivan
Senior Member
Joined: 19 May 2004
Posts: 8566
Location: Ivanska (Bjelovar), CROATIA
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 10:50 am Post subject: |
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quote:
BoBo wrote
Tlaka mi je sada sve citat. Malo poslije.
quote:
Rainmaker_RI wrote
neda se ni meni, daj nemoj tolke postove slat covjece...
slažem se (sorry)
ali pročitat ću jednom, uskoro |
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BoBo
Staff
Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 5233
Location: Split
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:19 am Post subject: |
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Uhhh! Bolje je da ne citate. Osjecaj je u najmanju ruku nezgodan za vecinu ovdje.  |
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Gul_Ranek
Senior Member
Joined: 28 Dec 2003
Posts: 769
Location: Rijeka
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 11:35 am Post subject: |
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| Ajmo svi, sto smo naucili iz ove price? Nikad ne obavljaj vodoinstalaterski posao gol ako imas u kuci malu macku |
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MaidenMadness
Contributor
Joined: 08 Oct 2003
Posts: 19324
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 2:48 pm Post subject: |
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| a jebi ga vidio sam i cuo puno gore i u najmanju ruku nezgodnije stvari od ove price gore |
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BoBo
Staff
Joined: 29 Jul 2003
Posts: 5233
Location: Split
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:25 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
MaidenMadness wrote
a jebi ga vidio sam i cuo puno gore i u najmanju ruku nezgodnije stvari od ove price gore
Ali nisam bio pripremljen pa me jace zabolilo. |
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axy
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Feb 2006
Posts: 1967
Location: Rijeka / Labin, CROATIA
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 7:39 pm Post subject: |
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hehe ... kad sam to pročitala, bilo mi je drago da nisam muško
e ono, sorry znam da je dug post, ali morala sam stavit ...
stavite vi nešto kraće
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Rainmaker_RI
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Jan 2004
Posts: 668
Location: Rijeka
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| Posted: Fri Apr 28, 2006 9:36 pm Post subject: |
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| ae nek neko skraceno napise o cemu se radi u tekstu jer mi se stvarno neda citat. pliz. |
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Gul_Ranek
Senior Member
Joined: 28 Dec 2003
Posts: 769
Location: Rijeka
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 12:01 am Post subject: |
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| Tip je isao popravljati garbage disposal gol iz tusa jer ga je zena tlacila, pa je cucnuo ispod sudopera, a u kuci je imao malu macku kojoj se svidio onaj objekt koji je visio njemu izmedju nogu, pa se odlucila zgrabiti ga. On se naglo ustao i lupio glavurdom u neki ormar. |
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Rainmaker_RI
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Jan 2004
Posts: 668
Location: Rijeka
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 8:00 am Post subject: |
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| To je slicno ko ona pornjava kad mu tipica pusi, a tip pece palacinke, i onda baci palacinku u zrak da je okrene, al palacinka se zaljepi za strop. Nakon nekog vremena palacinka padne sa stropa zeni na glavu, a ona ga ugrize za surlu. |
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MaidenMadness
Contributor
Joined: 08 Oct 2003
Posts: 19324
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| Posted: Sat Apr 29, 2006 12:39 pm Post subject: |
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quote:
Rainmaker_RI wrote
To je slicno ko ona pornjava kad mu tipica pusi, a tip pece palacinke, i onda baci palacinku u zrak da je okrene, al palacinka se zaljepi za strop. Nakon nekog vremena palacinka padne sa stropa zeni na glavu, a ona ga ugrize za surlu.
damn kakvu ti to pornjavu gledas?
e samo da se mogu sjetiti onog linka sa uputama u slikovnom formatu kako napraviti vazektomiju
damn
daleko najbolnija stvar koju sam vidio
nedam ja nikome da mi kopa nozem po kiti
btw tipica?  kakav ti je to izraz za trebu? |
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